Paterno Is Dead and I Don’t Feel so Good Myself

I know a man who is a convicted sex-offender. He molested his grand-daughter and spent several years as a guest of the State for doing so. Hes paid his debt to the Justice System, but not to Society. He is listed on the Sex Offender Registry, has taken shit from neighbors and some people dont want him around anymore.

I know somebody who was sexually abused by her father. He wasnt prosecuted, even though there was sufficient evidence to do so because the victim didnt want to testify in court and the mother wouldnt force her. She also didnt get counseling because it was difficult for the girl to face and again, the mother didnt force the issue. I still have problems with that set of circumstances. That means the girl, the victim here, is still a victim.

I know somebody who was abused by an uncle. Never told anyone when she was little because she was afraid nobody would believe her. I know more than one woman who has been raped. I know a couple of women who have been beaten by men. We all know victims.

Joe Paterno is now dead and as a iconic figure in American Sports, the Sweat Sock Set and Sports Psycophants will try to be fair and reasonable and respectful and what have you (If you dont know who Paterno is or about the scandal, a quick Google Search will bring you up to speed. Its not for the faint of heart). Most of them wont come straight out and call Paterno what he was in the only instance in life that mattered, a failure. An abject failure. No excuses.

Winning football games doesnt really mean much in the big picture. Helping boys become men is, and when given the opportunity to lead by example, Paterno fumbled. He choked, blew it, pick your cliche. Joe Paterno faced one of those moments that define a person and in his own words didnt know what to do.

Fuck that.

So, hes dead. Died of cancer and some are saying of a broken heart because he lost his job as head football coach and the will to live that went with it. Some ill-advised people have said that the last few months of his life were tragic.

Fuck that.

They werent tragic. They were avoidable. His legacy didnt get tarnished, by doing nothing when given the chance, Paterno pissed all over his legacy and himself. No pity for him there from me. Nor for his family. Im sorry they have to suffer the loss of his passing, sure. But the other stuff? His name being dragged through the mud? He put it there. They are still trying to make excuses for him and I get that. Its natural. Id probably be twisting myself into pretzels trying to balance love for a family member with outrage at the weakness myself. That doesnt make it right.

Dont allow yourself to get caught up in the so-called Tragedy of Paterno. There isnt one for him. No, the tragedy is what happend at the hands of his friend and colleague, it happened to those boys. Thats the tragedy. They have to live with this for the rest of their lives. There were adults who could have helped them and didnt. Paterno happens to be the most public face to get blamed for doing nothing. He got most of the blame, goes with the territory. Tough shit.

If you suspect a child is being sexually abused, dont pull a “Paterno” and do nothing. Report it. DO something about it. Dont make excuses, dont sit there with your thumb up your ass dithering, telling your boss, not following up, its a kid were talking about here.

So, you are probably wondering why I told you about the people on both sides of the crime I know right? Simple. I know the damage it can do first hand. Ive seen it, up close and personal. I also know a perp, an abuser. My faith demands forgiveness. Yet, I would never leave him alone with any kid, no matter how old. And if I thought he was up to it again, Id slap the shit out of him then call the cops. Forgiveness doesnt equate to dropping your guard and not being vigilant. It also means that I dont drip sympathy over the situation he finds himself in. He cant find a job around here, because of his conviction and all. Thems the breaks. Thats the consequences of his actions.

It also goes to illustrate vividly my understanding of both sides. And in this and every instance, my side is with the victims. Always will be as well. So, if youre one of those well meaning, but misguided people who are trying to prop up the football legacy of a man who KNEW somebody was fucking kids up the ass and didnt fire, have arrested, beat the shit out, keep off the property, something, anything, well…you might want to go look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself why. Because putting football games and coaches who win them over the safety and welfare of our children is just plain wrong. Period.

Oh, and the reason I dont feel so good? Because this needed to be said. Should be self-evident to me.