RWP #90
The photograph was a family
Treasure the sole remnant of
That Trip a symbol of the time
before
the fire.
That took everything from us
except Us.
A copy of the Photograph hung
On the wall of Father’s office
surviving the fire
Being absent from the
Flames that consumed all of us
except Us.
It has stuck some as odd
or interesting that a
Photograph of spinning fire
is one of the survivors
of the Event that took
So much from us
Except us.
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For Read Write Poem Get Your Poem On #90, in response to this prompt
14 Comments
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Hi Mark,
A bitter irony that the photograph should survive the flames, or perhaps natural that the fire would grant it a reprieve?
Great irony in this. Nicely done.
I’m interested in the effect of what seem to me to be capricious caps scattered through the poem. They’re like rhyme points that recieve extra weight. Is there a pattern I can’t see, or could you just as possibly have punched fire and survivor and the final us?
Certain subcultures would say that you were being sent a message.Bad karma.
I liked your take on it.
geometry of fireworks cuts into me
Your poem is a sad reminder of lives being destroyed by fire. Everything is gone, except the photo and the people. I like the line about the photo hanging on the wall of father’s office and that it was the only survivor of the fire. It is an “odd” keepsake, in a Lemony Snicket sort of way. Thank you for sharing.
I love the repetition of “took everything from us except Us.” And the ending was superb.
I really like the way you kept saying “except us”. You also had a very different idea from anyone elses poem. Original…
The repetition of the “except us” line is the way survivors of something like this often feel, reminding themselves often that they could have been a part of what was lost.
It reminds of the dimensions of Twilight Zone. This poem is the locus where distant-past (trip recorded by photograph) meets past (office fire) meets present (voice of speaker); and the photograph in the poem depicts one fire which becomes connected in a surreal way to another fire.
You are probably the only one of all of us who has looked at the prompt as a photograph of a fire-eater, and not a fire-eater. A unique perspective! Love the way you keep saying ‘except us’ almost like the memory itself is enough proof of existence.
I like the irony of the fire’s image surviving the fire. It means the survivor has consumed the fire, in a sense, made it part of himself/herself. For me, the image worked also as something more general and abstract, less physical, like memory, which is both priceless and traumatic.
Poignant! And, yes, ironic.
“except us”…I like it all