bark snark

I would love to take credit for the fol­low­ing, but I can­not.  I can tell you that this lovely piece of snark came from the lit­er­ary blog, bark.

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The Cath­ode Ray Review
Eng­lish Depart­ment, P.O. Box 10102, Lit­er­a­ture Uni­ver­sity, New York NY 10102–0000. Email: theliteraturereview@​junkmail.​com Con­tact: Greg Ari­ous, edi­tor. (deceased) Mag­a­zine: 13X2; 4–1180 pages; coated with polyurethane cover paper; 120lb. “The Cath­ode Ray Review pub­lishes 10,000+ word sto­ries that steer clear of char­ac­ter, and plot, unless they resem­ble recent movies. We also accept trans­la­tions, if they resem­ble recent movies. We don’t enjoy read­ing flat prose, so right click every cou­ple words and use the syn­onym func­tion, pick­ing out a word with more let­ters. We want a writer who’s not afraid to dust off the first 10 chap­ters of their failed novel and send it off with­out both­er­ing to edit out the chap­ter breaks.” Semiannual/septuagenarian. Estab. 1882.
• Sto­ries for The Cath­ode Ray Review have been included in The Best Armen­ian Short Sto­ries, and have won the Puelit Sur­prise.
Needs: lit­er­ary, environmental/erotica, hybrid forms of recipes, and short short short shorts. Receives 100,000,000 unso­licited mss/month. We process art like poul­try. Accepts 6 mss/decade; 0/year. Pub­lishes 6–12 months after author’s death. This month is our theme issue, Writ­ing about writ­ing, espe­cially if you’ve never pub­lished any­thing. Recently pub­lished work by Greg Ari­ous, Ran­dolph McQueef, and Ray­mond Carver’s (Obituary)

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There is much more to the “list­ing” at bark.com…